why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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