it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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