i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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