i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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