We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
