I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
