So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
