I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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