there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
