Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
