I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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