Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
