Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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