4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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