i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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