I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
