He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
