RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
