Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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