You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
