Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
