So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
