Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it hurts more in the daytime
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
