sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
