It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So squirting runs in the family.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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