Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize