He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
