I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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