New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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