I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
