I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
