3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize