If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
