so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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