Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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