I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
