dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize