did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
