I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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