We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
