Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
