bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
