Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
