i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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