Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
