So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize