that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
