i always forget guys have bellybuttons
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
