A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
