i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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