My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
