I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
