I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize