David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
