Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize