I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
