I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
