I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
