I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
