he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize