i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
