So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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