Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
